He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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