she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
cat food counts as protein by the way
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
