theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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