Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
