She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
