id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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