Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she peed on how many people?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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