She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
