he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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