fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
