There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
