Tell her she can't have a vagina
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
