the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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