My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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