We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
