Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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