you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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