she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
