Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is Oprah even human
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
