im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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