yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
