there's paper in my vomit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
