i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
