hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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