pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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