I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
