The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
