I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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