She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
