I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
