Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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