so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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