...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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