you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
