Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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