You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
