Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
