did you get engaged???
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
