So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
