Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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