Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize