it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
