i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
