Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
