is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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