I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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