I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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