how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
