I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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