Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
