Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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