Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
