im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
