U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize