haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Found the puke drawer
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize