i can't believe i had my finger in that
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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