Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
love makes seman taste better
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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